Proposal
by whitereflections12
Summary: It's time. Jacob is ready to propose to Nessie. That doesn't mean, though, that Edward is ready to let her go...


**Jacob**

There's been plenty of times over the years that I've wished Edward couldn't read my mind. I mean, seriously, I can't even count them. But right now was definitely waaaay up there. I mean, it's one thing to know that you need to talk to the father of the woman you're in love with before you propose. It's another for him to know as you're walking in the door. That doesn't really give you any chance to start to phrase it well. And I mean, I'm not an idiot. I had tried not thinking of it. But that just didn't work.

I could hear his hands tighten on wood in the kitchen as soon as I crossed the threshold. Hm. Probably a cabinet door. Or the table. Esme wouldn't like that either way.

"Jacob!" Her voice never failed to make my heart soar. My arms opened instinctively to welcome her as she flew into me, quick as a meteor, light as a feather. She buried her face into my chest, her arms tightening around me. "Missed you."

I ruffled her hair gently, pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Missed you too, honey. So much. How was your afternoon?" Separation from her was always painful. The feel of her soft, warm body next to mine was so welcome, soothing the ache. I shouldn't have been surprised to hear Edward snarl.

"Jacob. Outside. Now." Yikes. Well, it wasn't like I'd never seen him like this before. Yeah, his eyes were definitely dark. Well. Fun. I swallowed hard, my eyes travelling to the way his arms were trembling. This was a tad overboard. It wasn't like I was asking anything unreasonable. It wasn't like I had… Crap. A few images sprang to mind with that one, and I figured I was lucky he didn't kill me right then. By the feral snarl he let loose, I figured I could pretty safely assume I was only saved because Nessie was holding on to me for dear life.

"Daddy, please, don't be so mean. He hasn't done anything." Her hand came up to lay against my chest, and the heat of it through my shirt was calming. Instinctively, I covered it with mine. Because I knew that was what she wanted. Sometimes, I wondered at it, at the way I always knew exactly what it was she wanted me to do. It just came to me, as if my actions were directly hardwired into her thoughts. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb, and she blushed slightly. I was puzzled, until I heard Edward make a noise somewhere between a groan and a growl. Ah. _Her_ thoughts.

He nodded, slightly. I fought the swell of pride and happiness that clawed at the inside of my chest. We were probably thinking of the same thing. Last Saturday, on the beach in La Push. I shoved the memory back, but not before I knew he caught a glimpse. Her hand on my bare chest, her lips not far from it. I cursed, but drew the memory up again before he got the wrong idea. Much as I didn't want him to see it, I even more didn't want him to think we'd….gone too far. He'd kill me then for sure. And besides, whatever he may think, I had more respect for Renesmee's honor than that. Although morals were slightly different in the wolf world, I knew that in their world, those things didn't apply. Like the fact that when you found your mate, a wedding was a formality. I had long ago accepted that that couldn't be the case here, and Edward knew that.

I could hear him grind his teeth, but he gave another grudging nod. He also knew, deep down, that I loved her more than life. Maybe that was part of what annoyed him. I think everything about me annoyed him. At that, he almost smiled. "I won't hurt him, Nessie." It sounded like it pained him to say it, but his voice was gentle. It always was when he talked to her. I had to give the man that, he was one hell of a father. Still, I wasn't quite ready to die.

Was it just me, or did he soften just a little bit then? Huh. Maybe he could be reasonable. "It's alright, Nessie." The way she clung to me tore at my heart and I almost snarled at him. Taking me 

away from her when she didn't want me to go, that was punishment enough. For everything I had ever done. He _had_ to understand how that felt. I wrapped my hand around her wrist, tugged on it carefully until she released my shirt. Her fingers wrapped instantly around my wrist, an image filling my mind. Me and Edward fighting. She was frightened, she didn't want either of us hurt.

"I won't hurt him, Nessie." Both of us. Our heads whipped up, eyes meeting. Fuck, that was creepy. I didn't like sharing words with him.

He chuckled at that. "Come on. I just want to talk to you."

Yes. Just. I had a feeling the venom would return as soon as we were outside. Ha, venom. It had come to mind without thinking, but how appropriate. Damn bloodsucker. They might be family, but every now and then it felt comforting to call them….well, what I always had before. I didn't often mention the fact that 7 years in this house had dulled the repulsiveness of everything about them, from the smell to the diet. They didn't bother me anymore. But of course, I had to keep up appearances. "I'll be back, honey. Real fast." She was looking up at me imploringly, nervous. Oh hell. I was going to die anyway, might as well make it a spectacular death. I dipped my head and kissed her quickly, barely a brush of my lips against hers. I felt her relax, and I heard him growl. Well, that was expected.

I stepped completely out of her arms. Edward was already almost to the back door by then, and I hurried to catch up. I knew from experience we'd walk at least to the river before he said anything. We'd had these talks before. When Nessie first started seeing me as anything other than her protector, that one had been…interesting. But that was all as it should be. I mean, I was hers. I had been hers from the moment she was born. And suddenly, I didn't want to hear that piss him off. Today should be happy. He wheeled to face me, but I didn't let him speak first. "Hold up. You can't be pissed about this. It's gonna make her happy. You've known it was coming. And hell, Edward, it's not like I'm running off with her to another country or something! I'm doing this right. Your way. We're getting married, what's wrong with that?" Yikes, I had probably said too much. It really was amazing how steadily he could glare.

"No, you're right, you're not running away with her. Largely I think because you know what I'd do to you if you did."

Not true. I still complained because it was my nature to complain about vampires. But they were family. I would never take the name of Cullen myself, but I'd never be leaving their house either. Or wanting to.

He tipped his head slightly. "Thank you. Esme would appreciate knowing that. You should tell her some time. But right now, my concern is my daughter. And the fact that…" He sighed heavily, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "I'm not ready to lose her, Jacob. I need more time. Just another year, that's all I'm asking."

My jaw dropped. He didn't bring me out here to execute me? I mean, alright, maybe I had known all along he wouldn't take it that far. I could be sort of…melodramatic at times but I never worried about it because he had me so far beat on that one that my drama seemed insignificant. Still…this was it?

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little bit. "It isn't that simple you know. I don't have to request this." His head snapped up to me, golden eyes burning. I could see for a brief second what it was about them that transfixed Bella so. The pleading power he managed to put into that one look…damn. "I do want to kill you right now. Very much. I want to tear you apart. But I know that won't solve anything, and I know that you've really done no wrong. You've stuck to the rules I lay down in the beginning, remarkably well I must admit. Even when it went against your very nature, 

the very…inclusive nature of the imprinting bond. You've done things my way, and for that I am both grateful and furious. Because I have no grounds to fight you, no grounds to protest this. Other than the fact that she's my little girl…and I have a claim on her too."

He looked then as if he would have been crying if he could have. It was too much, and I looked away. I hadn't thought about it from his way, not really. But he was hurting, there was no doubt about that. And looking at it that way, I couldn't imagine this would be easy.

"You have no idea." His voice was a soft, hollow murmur. "Most fathers in this situation would get _minimum_ 16 years with their daughter, and that's if they married exceptionally early. I've had a little less than half that. A moment, in my eyes. Hardly a breath. And I can't bear the thought of that being over, I can't…I can't bear the thought of losing her to you. She's mine." There was bite to the last part, a low growl of fury that I could tell was mostly muffled.

His? Well, in a way. But more than that, she was _mine_. She was my mate, and that trumped everything else. He knew that. I knew that he knew that. It had happened before to him, when he chose his mate over his family. That first truce between the coven and the pack.

His eyes narrowed. "Yes. I know that too. But that doesn't make this any better."

Huh, no, I guess it wouldn't. But it sure as hell didn't make things better for me either, but that wasn't new. If this would have been easy, I'd have known I was dreaming. And if I was dreaming, Nessie wouldn't be inside but would be right here, soothing the magnetic pull that was already making my chest ache. Ah, Nessie.

It was in thinking of her that the truth came together in my head. The only right way to answer this question about who deserved her. "See the thing is, Edward…you may say she's yours but you're wrong. I do the same, but I'm being just as arrogant. She only really belongs to one person. _Renesmee._" She was an individual, and in our stupid testosterone-fueled anger, we forgot that more often than not. It had happened before, and it probably would again. But that didn't change the fact that I was right. It was Nessie this affected, and the decision should be Nessie's choice.

His hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, his eyes screwed shut. Some hard thinking going on in there. I knew his body language though. He was exasperated, pissed off even, but he knew I was right.

"Don't push your luck, dog." His voice was low, dangerous but defeated. So he _did_ know I was right. Cool. I had sort of been bluffing, thinking that. "No, you're right. This is her life. I can't…I can't make her choices for her. Not now."

My heart pounded erratically in my chest. I knew what she would choose. Didn't I? Didn't I? An image sprang to my mind unbidden, one from two years ago. She had looked about 10. I could see her sitting on Edward's lap playing the piano, as clear as if it had been yesterday. Her eyes were lit up with a brilliancy I wasn't sure I had ever inspired.

"Oh, you have. I've seen it. It's just…different." He sounded so damn tired that for a moment I wished Bella wasn't on that hunting trip with Esme and Alice. He might need her here. "I'll be alright. Besides, she hasn't made her choice yet." His eyes snapped open then, and it looked as if his sorrow had been dragged under control. "And she must know everything. Both sides. She has to know that I'm only asking a year. Two would be wonderful, but one would be perfectly enough."

I nodded. "Alright. She'll know everything. But my condition is that we DON'T tell her this together. I don't want to lay my proposal out like some real estate offer or something. I want to ask her the way I planned."

He took a couple deep breaths, swallowed convulsively before answering. "That sounds…fair."

"You have my word I'll tell her your side too. You can listen if you don't believe me."

"I believe you, Jacob. Whatever else you are, you're a man of your word. But I probably will be listening. I can't help it, the temptation's too strong without Bella here to stop me."

Damn. Yet another reason to wish she was still here.

He chuckled humorlessly, then quieted suddenly. "If…I might ask…when is it?"

Ah. I wondered if he recognized then the incredibly déjà vu…flash back a few years, and this could have been me asking about Bella's change. His eyes widened. "It's tonight. Well, now really. Soon as I get her to come out and talk to me. We're gonna take a walk, head out to that tree down by the river we like. I'll ask her there."

"Good choice."

"I thought so."

"I hate you for this, you know that don't you? I hate you for taking her away from me. But…" He shook his head. "I love you too. Like a brother and a son. The hatred…I'm sure it will pass."

"Hopefully sooner rather than later." His lips slid into a smile that looked painful. "Hey, you know it won't be so bad. It's not like we'll be going anywhere. Well, I mean for a couple weeks or so but after that we'll be home. She'll still be around, you know. You're not _really_ losing her."

"Ah, but I will be. It won't be the same anymore. Right now, I'm her daddy. The most important man in her world, right next to you. She has enough vampire in her that when she takes you as her mate, I will be…demoted. There will be nothing, no one able to exist as even remotely your equal. We love powerfully, something I'm sure you've already come to appreciate."

"She'll still love you."

"I know." His eyes drifted back up to the house. "She's getting anxious. She wants you back. I suppose it should hurt that she trusts you not to hurt me, but not that I won't hurt you. Although I guess I've earned that."

My heart twinged a little for his pain. "Edward…she does love you. More than almost anything."

He smiled, that crooked one I'd heard about too damn much from Bella. I didn't see what was so special about it. "Almost. Yes. Well, go on."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

I couldn't remember the last time I had been so nervous. My mouth felt dry as a bone, and I let her keep talking because I didn't think I had enough air to squeeze out even an 'Mmhm.'. I'd thought I'd been nervous talking to Edward, but that was fear, not nerves. Nerves, extreme ones like these, made themselves known very clearly. Too damn clearly. Our hands were intertwined between us as we walked, and it was all I could do to keep myself focused on the feel of her fingers through mine. I think that was the only thing that kept me standing. My muscles felt oddly weak.

"Jake? Are you alright?" Her worried tone pulled me out of my own thoughts, pulled my eyes to hers. Her eyebrows pulled together in concern. "What else did dad say to you? What aren't you telling me?"

Quickly, my instincts took over. My left hand came up to cup her cheek, pulling her toward me to kiss her forehead. I could feel the worried lines smooth out under my lips. "Sorry, honey. I didn't mean to be so distant, I was just thinking. And I promise, he was alright. We just had a talk, that's all."

She opened her mouth, to ask another question I was sure, and I silenced her with one finger across her lips. "Which reminds me, there's something I was wanting to talk to you about." We weren't quite to the tree, but it was pretty here by the water. And besides, I had managed to open my mouth and speak. If I didn't keep speaking, I was afraid it would be hours before I could unglue my throat again.

I removed my finger, watching to see if she'd stay quiet and listen. She did. Good.

"Do you remember your first birthday, when I gave you that bracelet?" One good thing about her being half-vamp, other than the immortality of course, was her perfect recall. She never forgot a damn thing.

She nodded, reached down to her wrist to rub the soft, adjustable bracelet she had worn every day of her life since then. "Yeah. Of course, Jake, it's the most important thing I have. Why would you ask that?" Her touch conveyed other questions through our linked hands. Her concern. What was really wrong?

"Nothing's wrong, promise." I smiled, though it was probably unsteady. I felt like little mini wolves were galloping through my insides, shredding as they went. And it wasn't healing fast enough. "Do you remember what I told you when I gave it to you?"

She smiled, sweet and angelic. Gloriously happy. My heart melted. God, but she was beautiful. "Yeah. You said it meant you'd always be my Jacob. I loved that."

Could a soul overload from feeling too much? If so, the love I had for her was going to kill me at any moment. I wouldn't have cared. I pulled her left hand up to my lips, kissed the back of it tenderly. "That's right. I did. And now, I have something else for you. And I want to ask you…" I took a deep breath. Damn, damn, damn. Why was this so hard? Killing leeches was easier than this! Well, anything was easier than this. I fell more than slid down to one knee, tugging the box out of my jeans as I did. "If you'll always be my Nessie. Will you?" I swallowed hard, continuing on rapidly without even looking up at her. "What I mean is, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, will you-"

"Jake!" My eyes snapped up. Tears were streaming down her face, but she was smiling the most radiant smile I had ever seen. I couldn't even compare it to the sun. No, this was brighter. Gave off more warmth, too. I could have basked in its glow forever. Smiling a grin that was I sure was more goofy than beautiful, one that I knew stretched across my whole face, I reached up to shush her again.

"You didn't let me finish. Let me do this right." Now that I was sure of her answer, it wouldn't be so hard to get the words out. I looked in her eyes this time. Depths of beautiful, perfect brown. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen…" I paused, teasing her, waiting for another outburst. She was good this time. And I intended to say the traditional 'will you marry me?', really I did. But looking at her, seeing the joy, the certainty in her eyes….something else came out. "We're getting married." My voice was hushed, but it rang with sincerity I could feel in my bones. We were getting married. We were really getting married. This was it, this was forever. She was my mate now, really and truly. I couldn't breathe.

It was all sealed when she nodded, threw herself down into my arms rather than pulling me up to her level. She kneeled on the ground in front of me and hugged me close, buried her face in my 

neck, her lips kissing every inch of skin she could reach. "I love you, Jake, I love you so much." Her words were so soft and happy, I thought my heart might beat out of my chest.

"I love you, Nessie. I love you more." My Nessie. She laughed and hit me, but I barely noticed and I didn't care. She was happy. I was happy. She was my mate. Soon to be my wife. Nothing, nothing could be wrong in the world.

Except…shit. I had almost forgotten about Edward. Reluctantly, I tried to pull away, to disengage a little from her roving lips. "Nessie, hey…" She didn't want to stop. Well, that made two of us. "Honey, hold on. This is important."

She listened to that and she pulled back enough that we could both pay attention, though she remained in my arms. Good. "Here's the thing…your dad….Edward isn't ready. He wants more time with you just as his girl; he wants at least one more year. But we both decided that rather than us deciding, it had to be your choice. So." I took a deep breath, tried to force neutrality into my voice, even into my eyes. "It doesn't matter, whichever you choose is fine ok? You know I'll always be here. It's not like there's any rush." The wolf in me that desired her so deeply it was painful snarled and clawed at my insides but I pushed him down. Whatever made her happiest, that's what I wanted. "So, we can wait a year and get married then. Or even two, or however long. I'm always here, honey. This is up to you." There. It was done. And it had even been easier to say than I'd imagined. Now to wait.

She bit her lip, like Bella. She sank backward onto her heels, lost in thought. "Is dad ok?"

Define ok. "He wants you to be happy, sweetie. Just like me. You need to do what you want here, ok?" And that was true. Whatever she wanted. Anything. She could have 50 years with him if it made her smile.

She startled me then, leaning forward suddenly to press her warm lips to mine. It was a simple kiss, chaste, and before I could respond she had pulled away, only by an inch. "I want to marry you. Soon. Now. But I need to talk to him. I can't make a decision unless I see for myself how much he's hurting. Do you understand?"

"Of course I do. That's fine." I smiled, encouraging, even while my heart screamed. More of those instincts. She was my imprint. She got whatever response she wanted.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

**Renesmee**

He was sitting on the couch, pretending to watch basketball. That was a tip off right there, as if I hadn't already known he'd been listening. Dad wasn't big on any sport but baseball. That one, he loved. It was impossible to sneak up on him, to sneak up on any of us, but I sped up behind him and covered his eyes with my hand. "Hey, dad."

"Nessie." There was a smile in voice, but it sounded too forced. My heart ached, and in an instant I had vaulted over the back of the couch to sit by his side.

"Talk to me. Are you ok?"

He looked at me, his eyes dull, his smile very, very plainly painful. "I'm fine. I suppose, congratulations, then?"

"I haven't decided anything yet." Not until we talked. I wouldn't do that, dad. That's why I'm here.

He reached over, brushed a curl back behind my ear. "Of course. It's just…" His voice took on a pleading tone, his eyes smoldering just a little. "Just until next summer, Nessie, that's all. Just one more year. Can't you do that for me? I know you want this, I understand, but it's not that much longer, not in the long run."

I bit my lip, trying my best to figure out how to phrase this. "Do you? Understand, I mean. Would you have been willing to wait that long to marry mom, once you knew you wanted to?"

"I knew from the moment I spoke to her."

"You know what I mean." I reached over and took his hand, pressed my palm to his. It was unnecessary, with dad, but the movements were too instinctive to stop. I filled my mind with my love for Jacob, all the strength of it. The heart of it. I heard him stop breathing. "Do you really think it's impossible that I love him like that? That I want to be with him? I'm not so different from you."

He sighed, brought one hand up to rub over his eyes. As if he was trying to wipe Jacob out of them. "No. No you're right, you're not so different from me."

He fell silent then, his shoulders slumped. This really was hurting him. I realized suddenly that that was something I couldn't bear. Not when I could stop it. "It's ok, dad. Next year, ok? We won't do this now, we'll get married next year. It's alright, I promise." I got the words out without choking on them, but it hurt. Oh, it hurt. I tried to hurriedly forget how much, forget the way my very soul ached at the thought of telling Jake. Jacob, my Jacob…

He swallowed, nodded, but didn't look up. Then he groaned, that sad quiet noise I'd heard from him only in extreme self-hatred. "What have I done?" his voice was soft, quiet but so heavy. "I…Renesmee, no. You don't have to do this. Sometimes, I'm far too selfish, Renesmee. I've done it before. I did it with your mother, put too many rules on her, demanded things of her I should have only asked and let it drop. Doing it to you is even worse. You don't have to do this." He looked up at me then, and his eyes were a little bit clearer. I could see it in them, how much he meant these words. "Yes. I mean it. You don't have to do this. Do what you want. Marry Jacob." He smiled then, that wonderful crooked one. "It will be one of the greatest honors of my life to walk you down the aisle."

"Daddy…" I was crying before I realized it, but rather than brush the tears away I buried my head in his shoulder, like I had when I was a little girl. He pulled me into his arms, kissed my forehead before resting his head on top of mine.

"My Nessie…" I loved his voice when it was like that. When he said my name like it something so special he shouldn't be allowed to say. Only dad could say it that way. "Jacob might come close."

No. The way Jake said it was different. "You know I love you, don't you? You know I'm not leaving you. I'm still your little girl."

"I know. Forgive me. This is harder than I suppose it should be. Maybe if you have children, you'll understand."

If. That was something we didn't know, something we wouldn't know until… Not that I was going to think about that with him here. But it certainly would be interesting to find out. I kind of liked the thought. Dad would make a good grandfather.

He chuckled, rubbed my back comfortingly. "You're making me feel old."

"You are old."

"Not compared to some."

It was then that his cell phone rang.

"Alice." We said it together, then laughed in unison.

"I'll get it." I reached into his pocket, sat back and away from him a little to answer.

"We're having a wedding!!"

I laughed, grinning from ear to ear. "Yes. Yes, we're having a wedding."

"Excellent! Oooo I wonder what sort of dress would look just perfect on you. You know, I saw this one the other day online-" And I toned her out, handing the phone to dad. Because Jacob was standing in the doorway, and the look in his eyes would have been enough to make me put God himself on hold. I was across the room to him in a breath, taking his hands in mine. "Jake." I said everything in that one word. Yes, I'll marry you. Now. I love you. Forever. I made sure he both heard and felt it.

He crushed me to him, his arms tight enough to have been painful to a mortal. "Renesmee." He loved me, he had always loved me, ever since our eyes had met. He was mine, forever. That was what he always said when he said my name, what was different about it from dad. Dad worshipped me, that much was certain. I sustained Jacob, and that made all the difference.

I kissed him, passionate, not caring if dad watched, not caring that both of us would eventually need to break for air. This was forever, and nothing more needed to be said.

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I love the two of them. : )

Alright, I had intended this only as a oneshot….but if I get enough requests, I MAY continue it. MAY. But if I did, I wouldn't be updating it all the time, just when I felt like it, because I have another project I'm really wanting to get started on right now. But if you'd like to see this go on, definitely let me know, ok?


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